The One eyed Man
by Etrangere
Summary: The Clover holds a bal masqué for Carnival. Two onmyouji attends it for their own reason.


**Title**: The one-eyed man  
**Summary**: The Clover helds a bal masqué for Carnical. Two onmyouji attends it for their own reason.  
**Warnings**: for abusive use of french poetry and Billy Holliday lyrics, random crossover (which were probably ooc anyway), and spoilers for RG Veda.  
**Notes**: A thousand thanks to Tammaiya for betaing it. You're wonderful  
**Disclaimer**: No Clamp character, whom I don't own, have been harmed in the writing of this fic and they all have been returned to the wilderness of their respective world after it.

_Votre âme est un paysage choisi  
Que vont charmant masques et bergamasques,  
Jouant du luth et dansant, et quasi  
Tristes sous leur déguisement fantasques. _

_Your soul is a chosen landscape  
charmed by masquers and revellers  
playing the lute and dancing and almost  
sad beneath their fanciful disguises!_

Clair de Lune, Verlaine

o O o

All monsters love masquerade, for it is the one occasion for them to walk bare-faced and not be recognized as such.

The Sakurazukamori was no exception.

The Clover held a bal masqué for the occasion of carnival, and the jazz club was already filled with many costumed dancers. A crowd of black and white dominos, extravagant, grotesque visages, and swirling satin capes. It was a very colourful, gay and enchanting gathering all around, and in midst of them a most beautiful person was waiting.

With a grin, Seishirou wondered what kind of disguise the Sumeragi would have picked. When younger, he had often been dressed up in many ways by his sister. After her death, he had hardly ever been seen out of his monochrome outfit. Seishirou did rather miss the little red hat - besides, it would complement fittingly his own predatory outfit.

In French, a black velvet mask and a wolf were called by the same name.

Of course, the onmyouji might simply have chosen to go unmasked. After all, he was there for business, not leisure. How fitting to have a couple of ghosts haunting a party for Mardi Gras ! Seishirou thought it was a charming addition, and a pity to exorcise them, but he didn't make the call. Besides he had his own quarry to deal with tonight.

An elegant shadow, he sliced easily through the mass of people, searching for his favourite prey.

There he was. Subaru, beautiful Subaru, wearing white and sorrow, a mantle of mourning grace shrouding him from the clatter around, one silver tear trailing the pale cheek. He made a piteous sad clown, or, if one had the eye for it, an exquisite grieving Columbine.

_So purposefully miserable, Subaru-kun ? Hokuto-chan was right about you being very stubborn._

Not that Seishirou minded. Subaru bore pain beautifully.

He came closer, hand offered in invitation.

"Will you dance ?"

Subaru's eyes widened in recognition. His look embraced Seishirou, his mask, his smile, then went back to the red glove reaching toward him.

"What are you doing here ?" His voice was more weary than bitter, laid with deep suspicion. Even now, Subaru did care about what he could do, who he might hurt, and would feel guilt for any of his actions. Of course, Subaru wouldn't attack him here, not where it would put people in danger. He was that kind a person.

"It's a party," stated Seishirou. "I am here to dance. With you." You never had to fear being too obvious with Subaru.

Confusion blurred the younger man's expression. He wanted to leave, but couldn't, surprise and speculation keeping him entrapped and uneasy about how to respond. He kept gazing at Seishirou, taking in the black and red cloth, the velvet mask, the trappings of death. Even under all the white make up, Subaru was an open book.

"What are you dressed up as ?"

That was his cue.

"Well, I am the Sakurazukamori."

Subaru blinked. "That's not a disguise."

Seishirou smiled. "Isn't it?"

And before Subaru could recover, Seishirou forcefully took his hand and brought him standing. "Won't you dance?"

The white-clad man opened his mouth - probably to rebuff him with curt dryness - but then sweeping waves of music filled the place and took the words out of his lips. Down on the Clover scene, the diva was making her entrance. And Subaru couldn't miss that, could he?

Seishirou smiled. Timing was the key in any actor's performance.

Mouth set with discontentment, Subaru followed him to the dance floor.

On the scene, dressed in a green and black velvet in an outfit that Hokuto would not have disapproved of, Oruha was intoning the first silk-soft words of "Blue Moon". The deep, caressing quality of her voice had already enchanted the audience, and religious silence filled with vibrant energy swept them in a low, balancing cadence. They were so caught in the performance they didn't notice the ethereal notes layered on the melody; a counter-song, higher and more crystalline, that followed each of Oruha's words.

_"You saw me standing alone  
Without a dream in my heart  
Without a love of my own"_

From Subaru's intake of breath, even while Seishirou held him close, leading the dance, Seishirou knew that the younger Onmyouji had noticed it. Hard-pressed to concentrate, Subaru was moving his head uncomfortably to try to locate the origin of the voice, but teasingly, Seishirou kept twirling him around in the path of the music in a way that made things more complicated for him.

Subaru addressed him with a glare taut with irritation, and he answered with a genial, innocent smile of his own.

"_And then there suddenly appeared before me  
The only one my arms will ever hold" _

All around them, the gathered people, captivated, were already waltzing in rhythm, round and round in an intoxicating movement. Over the walls, between long emerald draperies, the wide mirrors even made the room bigger, and the assembly fuller, finishing to give the set a dream-like quality. Quite the spectacle. Against him, to his surprise, Subaru had no troubles following his lead with graceful steps. Subaru knowing how to dance, who would have known ? Then again, they had always been rather fitted to each other's pace.

He made his partner whirl, increasing slightly the tempo, always eager to make the younger man more confused, but Subaru seemed to be in mood to answer his challenges and followed without missing a beat - making Seishirou's smile widen even more.

"Are you going to tell me what you are doing here, now ?" The Sumeragi head said sternly. "You never prevented me from doing my work before..."

"Oh, are you here for work then, Subaru-kun ?" He answered, faking surprise. "What a pity, it would be so sad not to enjoy this little soirée. Oruha's performance is quite unique, don't you think."

Subaru's eyes glittered with anger. True anger, the kind that he demonstrated so rarely. Even now, he was an amazing game to toy with.

"You can drop the act, Seishirou-san. I know who you are."

"But, Subaru-kun, this evening is all about acting. Look." Catching Subaru's hands, he brought him close to him, then spread one arm in a gesture encompassing the audience dancing to Oruha's song. "They are all acting, tonight, all wearing a mask. All believing in whatever dreams and delusions they've woven for themselves. They are all here to forget and pretend; are you going to spoil the event with truth ?"

Caught against his chest, Subaru took a short breath before pushing back and raising again his head, looking quite put out. If his face had not been painted with white powder, Seishirou was certain he would have seen a delectable blush spread over his cheek. "Do not confuse dreams with lies."

Seishirou tilted his head, amused.

"What is the difference ?"

His opponent opened his mouth, trying to shape his thoughts into words. "They are... what the people wish... in their heart. Their own truth that no one else can judge, and find wrong. You... you're only fake." Subaru dropped his gaze to the ground, closing his fists. "A fake smile, empty. If you cannot have emotions, then how can you know anything of people's genuine dreams ?"

"But that's exactly what makes me able to see the truth, Subaru-kun," he said softly, enrobing the declaration in silk gloves. "Feelings makes people blind. They make them warp the reality they perceive. The hurried salaryman who will not see the beggars in the streets. The gossiping neighbours who will not see the dark marks on a woman's face. The disobedient teenager who will not hear his parents cry. Because of their emotions, their selfish wishes, they turn their eyes away. Blithely, they will believe in their own truth, impose it on other people, wilfully ignoring what would disrupt their own little comfortable world. They only trust the lies they want to believe because it makes their life easier. Even you, Subaru-kun..."

In front of him the young man was watching him, wide-eyed in a moon-pale face. The dancers and the room turning, spinning, spiralling around them to the increasing tempo of the music. The people, mere high-lightened silhouettes of bizarre half-men, half-animal figures, blurring in a confusing mass that pushed against him and destabilized Subaru.

Seishirou took advantage of the momentum to take hold of him, twirling him inside his arms so as to set him with his back against his torso, facing one mirror.

"Even you Subaru-kun, you who were the most pure and sincere boy I've ever met, you did it. Because of your own idea of what was right and wrong, you lied to a woman, once, do you remember it ?"

_/ A face in the mirror, watching him /_

"You came to visit me then, feeling so sorry for what you did, unsure whether it was the right thing to do."

_/ Kind eyes, gentle smile, soothing voice that had been used to bring comfort - What was not /_

"You did trust me when I said I would back your lie, say what you did was right."

_/ Anger, sudden and inexplicable - Shattered mirror on floor, looking forward to the end of the bet /_

"That's not..." Subaru stammered, struggling against his embrace, but Seishirou only clasped him tighter, more inflexibly. One of his hand coming up to stroke Subaru's neck, slowly, and he could feel the younger man shiver against him.

"Because that's what people do. You believed in my lies only because you wanted so much to believe them, because it was the way to keep your own reality undisturbed and tranquil. Even though you should have known better. You tricked yourself Subaru-kun."

_Even you with your jade-green eyes and your unique empathy. _

Even you, you would not see what I was.

You were as blind to me as I was blind to your feelings.

And thus, you lost the bet.

"Then what's the difference between the way I lie and the way those people lie to themselves? In the same way, they believe it because, selfishly, it is what they merely want to see."

Subaru jerked suddenly and escaped his grip.

"No ... you don't understand !" he protested. "Even if people lie to themselves, even if I did, even though... what you did was different. You trick people into trusting you when you... when you don't even know anything of what it means to..." Words failed him again, and his gaze left Seishirou's smiling face to look away in the swirling, enthralling space. "Something wrong's happening." he said in a toneless voice.

Seishirou left him no chance to be distracted from their confrontation. He stepped towards Subaru, and backed him against the border of the dance floor. Drapes shifted, curtains giving way, mirrors deflecting the light. Somehow their dance was taking them away from the farandole, further into the labyrinth of their own twisted ties.

"You're wrong. Because of what I am, I can see. I can observe people as what they are. Puppets dancing to strings they don't even see, to a music they can't even hear, like tonight."

His hand brushed Subaru's cheek, moving up into short hair - half caress, half grasp.

"No such delusions as "love" or "trust" to prevent me from seeing where people happiness come from. That none of these relationships humans build have any permanence. That no so-called intimacy has any basis. Where people put on guises of emotions to make themselves strong enough to face the cruel and petty truth, where they dream endlessly avoiding reality, I am awake."

Firmly, now, the hand cupped Subaru's nape and brought him closer.

"After all, as the Sakurazukamori I am well placed to know that all the blossoming beauty and richness of this world only grow out of the death of the weakest ones."

Subaru's face was now mere inches from his own, his eyes wide and hazy with confusion.

"I am the one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind."

And he flinched, hurt, even now, by that reminder.

Seishirou smiled, genially. "I suppose saying that, that's what makes me a monster."

He was, after all, a wolf in man's clothing. Always mimicking what only others felt, always putting on the proper mask to interact with people when needed. Always smiling - was it his fault if people mistook baring teeth for a smile ? And always using his own flesh as the melted wax in which to shape the semblance of a man - gentle veterinarian, dreadful assassin : It made no real difference.

But could Subaru see that ? He doubted it.

This beautiful and sincere man one breath away, one infinity away from touching him could hardly notice that.

How could Subaru see through an illusion when the illusion itself didn't know what lay beyond ?

It had been a foolish idea from the beginning, that bet.

Subaru started, a beginning shift of his lips that could have been anything, when he was interrupted by a melodious harp piece and the apparition of the girl who played it.

He turned brusquely from Seishirou's hand, focussing his attention on the woman.

She was smiling cheerfully, her long black hair and unlikely clothing not easing the unreal atmosphere of the party.

"You're not dancing anymore. Are you not enjoying my music ?"

Seishirou smiled, picking up a cigarette to light. So, this was the party's ghost ? Interesting.

"Are you the one causing this ?" Subaru enquired politely. "I must ask you to stop it."

"But !" protested the woman, "Eternity is boring without music." She pouted charmingly.

"She's got a point there, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, enjoying the show. He had always liked watching Subaru work. The boy - man, now - was always so intensely feeling for whoever he was trying to help. It was always amusing to see him be passionate about something. Naturally, Seishirou now prided himself on getting the most of Subaru's passionate hatred. "You wouldn't be so unkind as to deprive someone of their only entertainment in the afterlife."

Subaru glared at him.

"That's why you shouldn't stay here. You would better let go and pass over, " he said turning back to the woman.

"I'm sorry," the woman said, smiling more wistfully. "I cannot do that yet."

"As long as you stay here, you will be more unhappy. Whatever is keeping you tied to this world, maybe we could help you in solving it ?"

Subaru sounded so serious, eyes pleading earnestly, Seishirou had to dissimulate a chuckle under a coughing fit at the (probably unconscious) "we" the Sumeragi had used. Surely he couldn't really think the Sakurazukamori would help him exorcize the ghost ?

The woman laughed lightly. "You are so kind, so generous. You remind me of my love. But like her, you are not strong enough to get what you want, are you ?" She shot a knowing look at Seishirou.

Seishirou narrowed his eyes. He wasn't about to contradict her assessment of Subaru, but her offhand attitude displeased him.

The woman went on nonetheless. "But you couldn't help me. There's no way from saving people from what they are. Thank you for the thought anyway," she added impishly. "Which is why you should join the dance and enjoy yourself ! There's only one night of Carnival, one night when the world in up-side-down and you can play at being someone else !"

Subaru shook his head. "I am not interested in short-lived illusions, sorry. They hurt too much when they break." He smiled sadly. "Is it because of your love that you are here ?"

"Oh..." she looked at Subaru with a surprised expression. "But what if they're all that you can get? Doesn't it make it worth it, to have something to cherish for as long as it lasts?"

It was Subaru's turn to be taken aback. "If... of course it's worth upholding something you love for the time it can, but... not if it's a lie," he said bitterly.

The ghost smiled again. "I was right, you are very much like her. Full of integrity. By the way, I am Kendappa-Ou."

"Sumeragi Subaru. I am very pleased to meet you." He bowed formally.

"Sakurazuka Seishirou."

Well, wasn't this an interesting discussion. He was intrigued to see what it would lead to. The ghost didn't seem dangerous so far, apart from her mischievous enchantment of the gathering, and, as always, Subaru seemed more interested in helping her make her peace than sending her to rest by forceful magic.

"Was that person you loved angry at you because you lied to her ?" Seishirou asked pleasantly, dragging on his cigarette.

"Seishirou-san !" Subaru exclaimed.

But Kendappa-Ou only laughed. "No, she wasn't. Even after I had given her a killing blow, she was still trying to do her best to save my life. I wonder how she could not realize I wouldn't want to live without her."

"But then..." Subaru stood troubled by the ghost's words. "Why did you kill her if that was the case ?"

"Because... we both were what we were. There was one thing she wanted to do, and I knew she would never be strong enough to get it. I couldn't convince her not to try it, because if she hadn't wanted this, she wouldn't have been the pure-hearted woman I had fallen in love with. But if she had to die, I would prefer to kill her myself." She smiled ruefully. "Nor myself, I couldn't change what I was. And I've always liked power."

"And because of that, you're afraid to face her now ? That is pathetic; after all, you were both as selfish as the other." Shadows danced below the light of his cigarette as he waved it for emphasis. "Why should you feel more guilty than her ?"

He was having much too much fun with this. Then again, talking ghosts out of haunting was a lot more distracting than just killing people.

Kendappa-Ou's eyes glinted. "But I did lie to her about who I was. The person she did love... I suppose it wasn't really me. I had the power to take away what she wanted, and I did. She has no reason to forgive me." All that was said in an even, matter-of-fact tone. "So, that's why I went here to do music so that people may live their dreams for one night !" She concluded cheerfully.

"But that's unfair !" Subaru cried out, to both Seishirou and Kendappa-Ou's surprise. "You have no right to take away her decision form her like that. Even if you hurt her, even if you lied to her... you can not know how she feels now." His gaze turned inward, shining with the usual grace that always caught Seishirou's curiosity, Subaru went on softly. "You can not guess if she does forgive you or not. If she did want to save you until the last minute, maybe she's waiting for you and wondering why you're not there with her, even now. For everyone, pain and love is their own to judge, and only they can decide what to do with it." Almost, shyly, he looked back at the dead woman. "So you should give her a chance to explain to you what she thinks. You have no way to know until you do."

Kendappa-Ou looked at him in shock. Then she laughed softly. "You're right. I suppose I was foolish and selfish again to try to make the choice in her stead. I was afraid that once I did see her again, I would lose all hope. Oh, dear !" She put a hand against her cheek. "I hated my mother for never even trying, and now I've been as bad as her!"

Subaru smiled and held a hand to her. "It's never too late." When she took it, he started incanting the prayer that would help her pass over to the next world.

"You too, don't think that you know already what's in someone's heart either. Sometimes, lies and truth are not as black and white as you would think," she said, right before disappearing in a last glimmer of swirling light.

Without the mesmerizing melody that had filled the room and warped space into a strange reversed world of phantasm and fantasies, the Clover felt silent and empty. Oruha could still be heard singing, a soft, plaintive tune that rang like a nostalgic call coming from far away. The folded area they had walked themselves into earlier was separated from the main dancing room, and they were alone in it.

_"Love is funny or it's sad  
Or it's quiet or it's mad  
It's a good thing or it's bad"_

"Well, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, throwing away the cigarette butt, turned ash in his hand. "Looks like your work here is done for tonight, and I should be going to my own errands as well. If you'll excuse me." He smiled impenitently. "See you next time."

He turned around, and walked a couple of steps before Subaru's voice stopped him.

"Sei-Seishirou-san..." The younger man sounded unsure of himself, hesitant but resolved nonetheless. "Wait !"

Seishirou turned around to study the younger man's expression. "Yes, Subaru-kun ?"

Subaru took a breath and spoke.

"Yet, you do not see."

"Pardon me ?"

_"But beautiful  
Beautiful to take a chance and if you fall, you fall  
And I'm thinking I wouldn't mind at all"_

"Maybe what you said is true, maybe you are able to understand things that other people are not aware of because of how they are entrapped in their own hopes and emotions. Maybe some things you can observe where others are blind, but..." Subaru started out slowly before staring at Seishirou directly, intense and firm. "And yet, do not see. If you cannot feel emotions, if you cannot touch feelings, they are things that you simply cannot know. Some truth are beyond you. Isn't that why you took that bet ?"

Maybe he had underestimated what Subaru was able to see, after all.

"An interesting theory. And if that was true, what do you think it would change ?" He let his tone fill with contemptuous amusement, and in answer, was satisfied to see Subaru's determination waver.

The younger man closed his eyes, looking tired. "Maybe... I..." He paused. "The evening's not over."

Wasn't Subaru full of surprises tonight ? Seishirou wondered how much further he could push him.

"Show me." He made it a challenge, his tone daring Subaru to even try.

Subaru's eyes widened with uncertainty, but he wouldn't let the Sumeragi the time to change his mind now, would he ? He strode back to him and pinned him against the wall, stopping his face a few mere inches from Subaru's face. The younger man had the proverbial deer in headlights look, which only made Seishirou smile all the more. Seishirou's lips brushed over his cheek before reaching his ear, and he whispered.

"Are you sure you're ready for this kind of bet, Subaru-kun ?"

The younger man took another intake breath, then to Seishirou surprise, closed the distance between them and kissed him.

Not a man to leave his opponent the advantage of surprise for long, Seishirou kissed back thoroughly, claiming possession of Subaru's mouth. Soon enough, he felt the younger man becoming limp in his arm, whimpering softly under his tongue.

Good.

He immobilized Subaru more thoroughly, then let his mouth travel down to Subaru's neck, nipping on the way, amused to feel the man's pulse under his teeth.

Subaru shouldn't forget what he is.

But once more, it seemed the young man was willing to meet any challenge he gave him, and timid hands touched him back, trailing down his shoulder and winding into his hair.

Seishirou looked up to meet Subaru's gaze, wondering. What could the other onmyouji be thinking to accept this, from him, the man who killed his sister, and to give back in kind ?

Subaru's eyes were clear but fathomless, as always. He gave him a shy, sad smile, and the fingers in Seishirou's hair fell back to his face, startling the assassin. Subaru however was merely removing the black wolf mask which he had totally forgotten.

Under his touch, Seishirou's flesh did not feel like wax at all.

Under this touch, Seishirou might even feel real.

Whatever was the cause for Subaru's strange mood, he had better take advantage of it; he got back to the business of kissing the younger man unreservedly.

_"But beautiful  
And I'm thinking if you were mine  
I'd never let you go  
And that would be  
But beautiful  
I know  
Love is beautiful  
I know"_

oOo

The music had faded away a while ago now. The crowd of masks and dancers gone, like a dream snuffed out with the first lights of dawn.

Gone the illusions, the wishes, the one-time fantasies that had filled the night with melancholic joy. All that remained was dirt and crumpled paper masks on the ground to be scrubbed and carried away by the morning cleaning crew.

Seishirou had warped them both in a maboroshi to avoid that crew some moments ago. And despite the indolent contentment of laying against a warm body, he had better roused himself back to awareness.

Subaru was sleeping, of course, he had made sure of that. He had his own job to do tonight and he didn't want the other onmyouji to stand in the way of it.

Stroking Subaru's feather-soft hair one last time, Seishirou got up and dressed.

The task had been delayed far too long already.

He found his way easily to the diva's lodge. Within it, Oruha was still shedding away her show's garments, sitting in front of the dressing-table's mirror.

She saw his reflection, a looming shadow in the door's frame, and smiled at him.

"Good evening !" She said amiably. "Or should I say good morning ?"

"Hello. Looks like you've been waiting for me ?" He was intrigued.

"Yes, of course." She smiled, in spite of the sadness overflowing her expression. "I've always known this day would come."

"Another one of your powers ?" He narrowed his eyes.

She nodded lightly.

"You're not going to fight, then?" He was smiling congenially as he walked further inside the room.

"No", she said, very softly. "That would be pointless, wouldn't it? This was fated."

He nodded beyond her. "As long as you live, this will keep happening. Other spirits, even from faraway universes, will find their way across to here. Some might be more dangerous than the last. There are some people who decided to remove that threat."

"Still," she said, and there was nothing giving, nothing crushed in her expression. "I've had my fun. It was a nice party, wasn't it ? I hope you enjoyed yourself."

He smiled. "Very much so."

"I'm glad."

He was amused. "You don't seem to be very resentful to me."

"No. You cannot help what you are, can you ? It's like blaming the scorpion for biting the turtle while she leads him across the river. This is just the way that things are."

"Yes," he echoed. "That's the way things are." He put a hand over her chair. "What about the other ghost ?"

"Suu won't bother you. She was merely waiting for me." She smiled. "She said last time it had been the other way round, so she wouldn't want me to feel lonely."

"That's why you let her sing with you."

"I like singing with her. It's sad to sing alone." Another sharp look that he ignored.

"If you say so."

He struck.

Blood sprayed on the mirror.

To his second sights, the woman joined hand to the young blonde girl and they both disappeared into the light.

He looked at his reflection throught the thick distortion of blood. Nothing to see, really.

He smashed the mirror for good measure. Lighting another cigarette, he walked out of the Clover.

After all, the Sakurazukamori lied to everyone.

But he never lied to himself.

-- owari --

**Notes** : Oruha and Suu are characters from Clover, Kendappa-Ou is from RG Veda.  
"Blue moon" 's lyrics are by Sinatra, "But Beautiful" by Johnny burke / james van heusen.  
The scorpion tale goes like this :  
The scorpion approaches the turtle to ask for a ride across the river. "No, you will sting me," the turtle replies. "If I sting you, than I would also die," says the scorpion. The turtle allows the scorpion to crawl onto his back. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the turtle. Before they both drown, the turtle asks the scorpion, "why?" The scorpion answers,"this is Africa."


End file.
